I am worried that on the day of the wedding I am going to be an emotional wreck. I am not nervous about my decision to get married. I know a lot of people will groan when I say this and will say ‘Ah but once your married, it won’t last’ but I do feel settled and happy. Having a ring on my finger will not mean I can be complacent or feel I need to work at being in a relationship. Relationships evolve and change. They bring challenges which you have to work through even if they are hellish at times. You have to talk and try not to shout. You have to see the bigger picture and not just focus on you. You have to swallow your pride sometimes. You have to accept that even when waistlines expand, the same person is still inside that you fell in love with. Relationships can be dull, as life sweeps you off your feet and drudgery can set in. You have to learn to shake it up a bit make it exciting and make it happen. There is no point to being in a relationship and certainly be married unless you are willing to accept the above. Don’t get me wrong Life can throw curveballs at you sometimes and things can go wrong, but I am ready and not going into this with rose tinted glasses.
Emotions will run high for both of us on the day as we would have both wanted a few special people there on who are sadly not going to be. As I grew up I was so fortunate to have lots of grandparents and they were a massive influence on my life. As they meant so much to me I would have dearly loved them all to be there. As I get older I have started to become quite sentimental and I know it will make me weepy when I am getting ready, in church and listening to speeches.
I am sure I would not be out of turn if I said that Alex will be thinking about his father Tony a lot on the big day. Even if he might not show it, I am sure that Alex will be emotional especially when his fathers car, the Hillman is used for the wedding. The car was Tony’s pride and joy. He spent hours tinkering about on it but sadly was not able to finish it. I am sure he would overjoyed by Alex having it finished and used again.
So on the day we are going to be armed with waterproof mascara (obviously not for Alex) and tissues so we can shed those tears, remember those who are not there and still enjoy it.