Warning

Just a word of warning to those who decide to get married, it can be dangerous out there. Not only do you have to negotiate all those nauseating marriage fairs with naff displays of your perfect day but you have to contend with subtle as a brick demands from people too. Once you have got past the stage of wanting to club people over the head after the twentieth attempt at table planning and have realised that wedding equals expense, you decide to venture into the world of crafting. This is the one of the most dangerous times, oh and when you lose your marbles and just go ‘what the f@@k!’ but we will come onto that later.

Now crafting should be relaxing and provide a great sense of achievement when you have finished your project. Well to certain extent it can be, but at the same time you can injure yourself. Yes you have heard correctly. Crafting can be painful and scar you for life. Let’s face it, once you have hit this stage you are probably at your most vulnerable. You have been beaten into submission by wedding magazines, websites and so called experts telling you that your wedding is going to be sh*t if you don’t have butterflies or hearts hanging off every possible part of the day. YOU have to make things. It is a bride’s rite of passage these days. Armed with this knowledge, you hit Pinterest with aplomb and make so many pins you could create a large wedding voodoo. You watch endless videos on Youtube of how to make a loo roll into a napkin holder. After a while you start to lull yourself into a false sense of security and start to believe you will glitter yourself into a crafting god. Now let me just stop you there. Yes just there. Keep still. Take five minutes. If you are a bride reading this let me tell you something that might make you feel a bit faint but relieved at the same time.

YOU are not perfect and you will make mistakes.

There said it. Now relax. Feeling calm? Right well have a laugh at my crafting injury and smile. Making favour bags I decided to have a fight with a rather hot volcanic glue gun. I should have known that the hint was in the word ‘gun’ and I would be the one who came away worse off. I got tangled up in hot glue and this was the result.

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I feel quite proud that I managed to burn rather deeply a smiley face into my thumb. Despite all the chaos around me my thumb will smile back right back at me and tell me I am doing ok.

I will write about the last and most dangerous stage of wedding planning called ‘what the f**k’ when I feel you are ready. I mean I don’t want to scare would be brides at the moment would I ?

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