Now for the serious stuff


So why are we getting married?

So you say yes, then the giddy smiles sits on your face for a while, then you go into organisation mode and you forget about why you are getting married. We received an invite from the vicar in Shropshire to attend a get together in March to think about the wedding ceremony and also why we are getting wed. Sounds daft but in the whirlwind, we have never sat and talked it through properly. Being serious, equals being grown up. Difficult for two big kids who still laugh hysterically at inappropriate childish things.

So I am sat wondering what readings and hymns we should have. Now as I don’t really know what is hippity hop in the churchy sense, I have to hark back to my school days and remember what I used to sing back then. I am not sure ‘there’s a hole in my bucket’ or ‘I can sing a rainbow’ would be ok. So I have been scouring the internet and have come up with a few tried and tested hymns which hopefully most people will know how they ‘go’. Just hope the church organist is on the ball. I have been to some funny weddings and funerals for that matter where the organist has hit some major bum notes or has got the tempo completely wrong. I think the funniest was my grandmother’s funeral where the organist decided to play really rather slow and then suddenly picked up to such a pace where I thought we were at a F1 race. It is the only funeral where I have laughed more than I cried.

Finding something and someone to read in church is also quite difficult. Not really the time and place to call out bingo numbers, recall 1000 excellent pirate jokes or read out lonely heart adverts. Advice on church readings seem to vary. Some suggest religious pieces, others timeless classics and a growing trend suggest pieces from favourite children’s books. Again I don’t think reading a snippet of the Hungry Caterpillar would cut the mustard. We have selected four readings, one is funny, one is a bit mushy, one fits in with the theme and one is religious. All being well one or two of them will be appropriate.

As Mister B and I are getting married in Shropshire and not where we live, we have to have our banns read twice, once in our village and once in Shropshire. This is the time for anyone to come forward and declare any impediments against us getting married. Hmmm, don’t think we have anybody locked up in a cupboard that will suddenly appear. If they do, they may let us know how to get to Narnia which could be jolly nice for a honeymoon.

Unfortunately the local vicar decided to join the dove from above, so we were contacted by a rather jovial stand in vicar who informed us he could fit in our banns. So we are heading to St Cynog’s at the end of April to get all serious and hear the banns being read. I am not sure what to expect to be honest. Will we suddenly have a moment of enlightenment or will Kenny Everett’s Brother Lee Love dance down the aisle and point at us with his huge hands? Hmm I think not. It is more than likely that Mister B and I will be hiding at the back of the church, trying not to laugh and then fishing about in our pockets when we realise we don’t have anything but fluff and buttons for the collection. Nevertheless we will be one step closer to the wedding. GULP!


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